SEAL My Destiny (SEAL Brotherhood) Read online

  Black circles began to tighten around his vision, and he thought he might pass out. He could see Camilla fading, almost floating, in a red satin gown floating all around her, the vision moving away from him, color going grey, and then was lost in a puff of smoke as his focus returned to the present.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Christensen.”

  Colin and Stephanie first kissed modestly then turned and faced their well-wishers. The audience stood and clapped for them. Their happy profiles obscured Luke’s view of Julie for a moment, but he was rewarded when the newly-married couple stepped forward and down the aisle, and Luke saw her blush, blotchy red marks on her chest above the indescribably beautiful heaving breasts needing release. Her body was almost shaking as she struggled for breath. God, he wanted to fill her need. He knew he was the one to do it as no other could.

  The other couples met in the center and followed the bride and groom out through the audience. At first Luke presented an arm for her to hook through, but at the last moment clasped her hand firmly, and they walked, not as was rehearsed, but fingers entwined, slipping over each other’s fingers, squeezing, exploring, tips touching the juncture of each other’s fingers until he thought he would explode.

  He led her off to the side of the house, not inside with the rest of the bridal party. He didn’t look at her, but instead held up a finger to his friend, Julie’s brother, and asked for a private moment with her. The moment was granted and he searched for a place where they could just be alone.

  There was a small rose garden on the west side of the house, behind a white gate covered with a pink blooming climber. He clicked open the gate and heard the creak of metal hinges, closed it behind her, brushing the beautiful fabric aside from the weathered wood on either side of the gate, and from tiny thorns of the climbing rose.

  He felt her eyes watching him while he fixed her skirts, smoothed them and brushed them like he was preparing a large doll for display. And then he stepped to her, placed his palms on either side of her face, pressed her cheeks together, puckering her beautiful wet, crimson lips and sank himself into them. The soft pillows of flesh parted for him, complete with her delicious, high-pitched whine.

  “Julie, Julie, Julie. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stand being away from you.”

  He stepped back and searched her eyes, which were watering. Her arms carefully moved up along his back, rubbing over the black fabric of his tux.

  In a moment he did not understand, she whispered, “Help me.” Her eyebrows had quirked into little tents. The warm brown eyes looked back and forth between both of his, looking for something he hoped to God she’d find there.

  “Baby, I need you to help me,” he said honestly, rubbing his lips against hers, nibbling on her mouth, tasting lingering toothpaste and stroking her lower lip with his tongue. “I have nothing to give you but pain,” he said sadly, searching for an answer in her eyes.

  She smiled and returned his nibbles, her long dark lashes fluttering as she examined his lips by kissing them. “No, you don’t give me pain. You give me pleasure, you give me hope. You give me something I’ve never experienced before fully, until today. You give me your love, and I accept it freely. All of it you can give, Luke. All of it, along with the pain and whatever else you have going on. I want all of you.”

  The words she spoke began to sink in. She must have seen his doubt.

  “All of you, Luke,” she said again, as she cupped his head between her hands. “I want entangled, complicated, and I want to be missed when I go, just as I’ve missed you these past few days.”

  “Julie, are you sure?”

  She drew back and looked at him, ready to speak what he thought was going to be a scolding remark. “You telling me I don’t know my own feelings, Luke?”

  “Of course not. But I’m—”

  “Perfect just the way you are. Let me help you put back the pieces and grow the ones that are still missing. I can help you do this, Luke. If you’ll let me in.”

  Let her in? Hell, yeah.

  Just like the night at the beach, she had reached in and grabbed his heart. His soul was touched, his body was on board. His brain was still screaming what ifs!…but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to go anywhere but deeper.

  He started searching, turning his head from side to side.

  She reached up on tiptoes and whispered into his ear, which made him tingle, “Follow me.”

  Julie took his hand and they went through the white gate again, into the back yard. Off to the left stood a brick pathway curving behind a row of large shrubs. As they rounded the corner, Luke could see a vintage airstream trailer with its blue awning extended over the front door. She pulled the lever, opening the door, and stepped up into the cool, dark trailer. He followed.

  It had a musty, unused smell, but the windows were open and the curtains fluttered in the breeze. They could hear people laughing and talking, some dance music playing. He knew they didn’t have much time before the wedding party needed to pose for pictures, but he hoped to God they’d understand.

  She walked down a short corridor, past an efficiency kitchen to a bed in the back with a light green satin bedspread and colorful pillows. She turned around, looking up to him as she sat in the peach whipped cream of her dress. Her body needed to be unwrapped, each layer peeled back slowly and savored. Her blush made him gasp.

  He pulled off his jacket and laid it gently on the front couch, then undid his bow tie, dropping it to the floor. He removed his vest and dropped it. Bisecting the distance between them, taking his time to look at every luscious petal of her picture, he unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it out of his black pants. Her hungry look spurred him on. He sank to his knees, smoothed his palms from her ankles to her knees under the fluff of her skirt as she closed her eyes and licked those damned red lips. He moved his hands slowly up, like a swimmer doing a breaststroke, against her soft thighs, encountering the garters of her corset.

  It’s going to be a challenge. But he’d make do. He dipped his head underneath her skirts and inhaled her womanly desire—

  Two loud raps on the door broke the spell.

  “Luke, Julie. We’re all waiting on you two,” Colin’s voice came boldly through the door. Luke whipped his head out from under her skirts, still hungry for the taste of her and faced Julie’s shocked face.

  “Oh, my God. Ohmygod,” Julie said as she jumped up, her hands flying around her skirts. She ran to help Luke find pieces of his wedding attire, helping him slip on his vest while he buttoned his shirt.

  “Colin, we’ll be right out. We were just having a private conversation. Sorry.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet. But Jules, I came over here because Dad was steamed when he saw you two come here. I’m afraid the whole wedding party kind of—”

  “Not to worry, Colin. We’re coming,” Luke said as Julie darted him a look, blushing. He couldn’t help but wiggle his eyebrows. She appeared not to have gotten the joke. He picked up his jacket. At least he hadn’t taken his shoes off.

  As Luke was fiddling with his bow tie, Julie opened the door to her brother.

  “Sorry, guys. But we’re hot and crabby. Everything’s waiting on you two.”

  Luke, grabbing Julie by the waist, whirling her around before bending to give her a deep kiss, his tongue as urgent as hers. Colin wouldn’t be able to mistake his intentions.

  “Wow. Slow down there, pardner,” Colin chuckled. “If you make my bride wait any longer, I’ll not gonna get lucky tonight like you guys are obviously gonna do.”

  Julie giggled and tried to pull away. Luke loved the feeling of catching her and bringing her back to his chest.

  “Luke, let’s get your bow tie straightened out.”

  He submitted to her fussing over the little thing he wore willingly, especially since her scent and the delicate feel of her fingers on and around his neck was so pleasurable. She checked him over. She smiled. “What?”


  “I like how you fuss over me. I can’t wait either, Julie,” he blurted.

  “Guys!” Colin was getting impatient.

  “Coming, coming!” Julie said breathlessly as she ducked out of the doorway. Luke slammed the door behind him and, taking Julie’s hand, allowed himself to be dragged back to the public part of the yard, and the waiting wedding party. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Julie’s mother or father, but several of the bridesmaids bore expressions of shock, one young lady covering her mouth to conceal what he suspected might be a grin.

  Well, what did they expect? He was going to get under her skirts sooner or later. This would just heighten the anticipation.

  And then he’d go for Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day and the Fourth of July, all at once. It would be an evening she’d never forget.

  Chapter 16

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  LUKE HAD BEEN goofy all during the photography session. He’d been inappropriate, exasperating the poor, skinny photographer, but his assistant, who looked like she’d been around the block a few times with bikers, loved their play. Luke would break after their pose and grab Julie.

  “Take this one,” he’d say, picking her up, his face obscured by the creamy peach, floaty material. He asked to have the bridesmaids and grooms photographed separately, as couples in a group, and he would not allow a stiff, formal picture. In every one he was hugging her, his face close to hers all the time, and he’d kissed her so many times in front of God and the whole world without anything held back, eventually she just stopped worrying and went with it.

  Even the elder Mr. Christensen seemed to enjoy it, although her mother, ever the practical one, wanted old-fashioned wedding photos first, and then would indulge his folly, if he insisted. She’d told him so several times, but Luke pretended not to hear. He was the most deliciously handsome bad boy, and Julie loved how he didn’t care.

  Finally the group drifted off to different corners of the house, the patio and the pool area, leaving Luke and Julie alone. He snagged a bottle of champagne and whispered, “To the Airstream, love?”

  Julie’s cheeks flushed for at least the tenth time in the short hour they’d been with the photographer. He walked around behind her, one arm pulling her by the waist into him, her rear cleavage feeling his hardness. “Or should we go somewhere they don’t know about?”

  Giggles erupted in spite of scolding herself to behave.

  “Mmmm. I like those little sounds. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you do everything.”

  She turned around, placed her arms around his neck and let him pull their bodies together. Hard against him, she felt safe. And she also knew he wouldn’t always be like this. He would have his difficult, possibly even insane moments, but for right now, she’d enjoy the way he was and the way he showed her how much he cared for her.

  He was sipping on her lips, making her dizzy, while people walked past them. She didn’t care, and closed her eyes so she could just experience the hardness of his body, the soft, lemony scent of his cheeks and the tender way he worked over her mouth, stroking and pleasuring her tongue.

  “I don’t want to leave the party, Luke. And I don’t think this can be done discreetly, but I’m still all for it.”

  “Mmmm. Music to my ears, baby.”

  He led them back around the hedges, down the brick pathway and back to the Airstream. She made sure all the shades were drawn and she clicked the door locked.

  “No deadbolt, so if someone has a key, we’re screwed,” she said, and then giggled. “Or, actually not screwed!”

  “I love your potty mouth, Miss Christensen.”

  He untied his bow tie again, setting it on the countertop, placed his jacket carefully on the couch. Tore off his vest and walked up to her in his pants and white shirt, having kicked off his shoes.

  “You do it,” he growled, inhaling deeply and presenting his chest to her.

  She began unbuttoning his shirt, kissing the warm, smooth skin underneath the cotton. She pulled his shirt from his pants, letting one hand squeeze his package lovingly.

  “I want you to know it’s more for me than just missing your body, Luke. And I—”

  “Me too, princess.” He interrupted her by migrating his kiss to her neck while her hands slid over the ripples in his chest, squeezing a nipple between her thumb and first two fingers. “It’s way more than sex for me. I’m not ashamed to say I need you, Julie Christensen. I need you in my life.”

  She examined his face. He allowed the distance between them.

  “Luke, I know there will be some rough patches. Like I said to you earlier, just bring what you can.”

  “I’m hoping we can make this work, sweetheart.”

  “Me too. But—” she covered his mouth with her fingers. “You don’t have to make any promises. I’ll take any part of you you’re capable of giving. And I think we can work on the rest, if you’re into it.”

  “More than into it. It will be my mission in life. But the instant I feel out of control, I’m going to leave.”

  “No, Luke. No. You stay and finish it. I can handle anything you dish out. I figured that out while we were separated. This is crazy fast for me. We have so much to go over and talk about, and now with the sexual angle—not knocking it, of course—but I want to explore all of you.”

  “Doctor, I am all yours. I will never hurt you, Julie.”

  “That’s just it, Luke.” She took his hand and they sat on the couch. “You won’t be able not to, because I care for you, and we will both do things to disappoint the other. I have one request, though.” She looked at him levelly. His eyes were steady on hers. He didn’t flinch or frown, which was a good thing. “No quitting.”

  At that, he cocked his head.

  “Like your training, Luke. If we do this together, no quitting, saying it’s too hard, walking away. I won’t live that way. Being separated from you is bad enough during the day, but if I’m around when you’re deployed, I will wait for you, because you will come home to me, right?”

  He nodded. “Absolutely I will come home to you. And dream about you every day and night.”

  “And if your dark places come up, you show them, Luke. You work with me to understand. We work on both our dark or scared places, so we understand each other. We don’t quit. You don’t run away or ring our DOR bell.”

  He was serious for a second, and then smiled. “But, Miss Julie, I love ringing your bell.”

  She smiled back, feeling the heat on her chest and face. “Yes, and you do it very nicely. But I want to make sure you understand, it’s just like the night on the beach. I don’t do uncomplicated. I like entangled. I won’t do casual. I want it all, Luke. You don’t hold back. You show me everything, and we work on it all together. But I won’t live with those days of being apart because you leave me. You don’t walk away. You don’t quit on me. Never. Understood?”

  He inhaled like he’d been slapped. Looking first down to his lap he thought for a few moments. “If I get to a place—”

  She stopped him again with her fingers on his lips. “You let me decide if it’s too much. You let me decide. You don’t take the decision away from me. Because, Luke? I’m not quitting. Ever.”

  It would have been easier to just fall into the lovemaking and bask in fantasy love with him, but what she wanted was a real relationship with the real hero who had sacrificed himself for her and the rest of the country. She wanted to grow, to be his right hand, the person at his side, not the person who watched from the sidelines.

  “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.

  “I could say the same. So let’s learn to heal each other. But understand it’s the real you I want, not someone you’re pretending to be, Luke. I want you to be my hero just by showing up.”

  He nodded. Their foreheads touched. “You have me entangled, Miss Julie. But, unlike your statement to me on the beach, there is no fuckin’ way I’m going to miss you, because I’m going to hold on tight to you. I’m never lettin
g you go. And you already know I’m not a quitter.”

  “Yes. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open, Luke. I’ll take all of you. All the parts. You just have to show up.”

  “Agreed.”

  She could tell his restraint was hurting him a bit, but he was making sure she understood he wasn’t going to just jump her bones, even though it was clearly on his mind. He wanted her to lead him. And it was just about the sexiest thing he had ever done.

  “Come,” she stood, pulled his arm and he walked behind her, his shirt wide open, showing off the delicious abs and pecs peeking. His trim hips and long gait followed. His eyes stayed tethered. His fingers entwined with hers while he allowed himself to be led. She sat on the end of the bed with her crinkly chiffon flounces out to the sides. Exactly where they’d been interrupted.

  He knelt again. “Thought about this all during the photography,” he whispered, removing first one slipper and then the other. “Thought about this,” he hissed as he ran his palms up from her ankles, over her knees and pressed her thighs open. He looked down on the layers of dress, his arms buried underneath and his fingers found her panties. His clear blue eyes searched her face while he breached the elastic and his fingers rubbed her up and down, circling her clit. She was parched. The delicious feeling of him searching, taking his time, being gentle but persistent with his invasion, made her wet. When he slid two fingers inside her sex melted against him.

  He moaned at her readiness for him. He lifted the petticoats with his other hand and buried his face in the juncture between her legs, breathing hot against her satin panties, rasping his teeth along her lips through the fabric and sucking the little nub which stood up in blatant invitation. She heard him groan again as his hot tongue hooked under the edge and found her warm sex ripe and waiting for him. His tongue on her opening made her cream with delight. The first lap and suck of her nether lips sent her into a shudder of pleasure.