SEAL of My Heart Read online

  Kate stepped back and introduced them.

  “Well, come on in. I feed stray cats. I guess a stray runner or two won’t do us any harm, right girls?”

  There were cheers happening at his feet, and all five females ushered him in. The house had the same high ceilings and bright spaces as Tyler’s mother’s house, but wasn’t full of colorful paintings. But Kate’s sister had a collection of Inuit art, including a large totem. Masks with feathers and brightly-colored, sleek designs in green, red and black hung all over the walls. The collection was substantial.

  “You want some coffee, or do you not partake?” Gretchen asked him. She was trying to be matter-of-fact but she was working hard to hide a smile that threatened to break out at any moment. “You want something to cover up?” she added without looking over his bare legs and chest.

  “Would you like me to cover up?” He didn’t know why he asked that, and worried it would offend.

  “Not on my behalf.” She cleared her throat. “Girls, let’s let Aunt Kate speak with her friend here in private, okay? Let’s get him some coffee.”

  The youngest daughter brought Tyler a beach towel. “Mother doesn’t like sweaty men to sit on our couch.” It was delivered with stern reprimand just as the towel was shoved into his groin.

  “Thanks,” Tyler said. “So noted.”

  He followed Kate to the living room until she whirled around abruptly. Good thing he’d maintained a two-foot distance in case he’d misread her earlier body language. She was about to say something when he reached into his pocket and produced the letter he’d written last night.

  “I thought I’d deliver this in person, since I was in the area.” She took the note and their fingers touched but didn’t move away. He hooked his forefinger over hers and pulled her hand to his chest, crinkling the letter between them. “And the truth is, I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

  Her glance down to his hungry mouth was all the encouragement he needed. He closed the gap between them quickly and pressed his lips to hers, drawing in her sweet softness. He involuntarily moaned when he felt her open to him. His next move was going to be to reach around her waist and pull her against him, but a voice to the side called a halt.

  “Okay, I didn’t see that. If Mom asks, I’m going to say I didn’t see that. Thank you Gretchen. You’re welcome, Kate. And here is your coffee, sir.”

  Tyler loved Gretchen already. She reminded him of some of his Team buds. He secretly loved women with big mouths who were not afraid to dish out their opinions, sometimes inappropriately. He liked them fearless. Gretchen was all that and more.

  He held his hot mug in both hands and for a second felt a little self-conscious as Kate examined the coffee like it was entrails that revealed her fate. He set the mug down.

  “Where were we?” he whispered to the side of Kate’s face.

  “You were going to kiss me again,” she said as she kissed his neck, ran her tongue under his chin, no doubt tasting the salty sweat that had collected there. He wished he’d had a shower, but it didn’t seem to matter to Kate. He placed his palms on her cheeks, eased her back a bit so he could examine her face.

  “Kate. Kate. Kate. What are we going to do with you?”

  She stood there with her blue eyes searching his and said not a word.

  “I have to ask. What are we doing here?”

  “You came to deliver a letter to me,” she said again in a throaty voice. “I didn’t expect the kiss, but now that I’ve had one, I want another. Would you mind?”

  “Not at all.”

  He wasn’t going to let any heat escape between them. He drank from her lips and, even as he wondered how she could be the kind of woman who was engaged to another man and be answering his kisses with her own, he pushed his worries aside.

  But then he just couldn’t ignore that dull thud in the pit of his stomach. He dropped his hands and stepped back.

  “I’d like to talk a little, Kate, if you don’t mind?”

  “Sure. No problem.” She brought the towel over and spread it on the couch for him, gave him his mug of coffee and took a seat perpendicular to him.

  Tyler took a sip of the delicious home-brewed elixir and studied her again. “So, I have to ask you. You said yesterday you were engaged.” He studied his coffee. “You know, where I come from that means something. And it means I have no business being here, and probably shouldn’t have come in the first place.”

  “But you don’t understand.”

  “Okay, then help me understand, Kate.”

  “I’ve been plagued with second thoughts for a month now. When we talked on the plane yesterday, the world somehow shifted for me. I mean, I realized I was just kind of going through the motions with this wedding.”

  “Okay. That’s kind of hard to believe, but go on.”

  “Gretchen and I talked until early this morning about it, Tyler. My fiancé called me last night and we sort of had words. Well, he had words. I told him I wasn’t sure. He kind of went off on me. And, well, the bottom line is that we broke it off. I’m not sure…”

  He could see it was painful to talk about, which was a good sign, Tyler thought. God knew he didn’t want to fall for a girl who slipped in and out of fiancés the way some slipped in and out of beds. He knew that wasn’t the way she was, so was glad for the confirmation. But it still niggled at his insides.

  “Then he just wouldn’t give you the time to think things out? That what you’re saying?”

  Kate nodded, looking down at her lap.

  “He’s a fuckin’ idiot.” Tyler winced at his language. “Pardon me, I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”

  Kate remained silent. Nodding, she said to her hands, “I think I know what you meant.” Then she lifted her eyes, smiled, and said, “No, Tyler. I’ve been the one who’s been the idiot. And now I’ve hurt a lot of people.”

  “Hurt?”

  “My mom, his mom—everyone’s been making plans for months. Paying for things. No one realized—heck, I didn’t realize—I was so ambivalent.” She started nodding again. “I’m noticing things now I didn’t see before.”

  Tyler found some discomfort in her words. He wasn’t sure he liked being even part of the reason for her broken engagement. He started regretting he’d allowed himself to get entangled. And now he was beginning to feel like he’d been partially responsible for hurting all those people, people he didn’t even know. What fuckin’ right did he have to go jumping in, causing chaos? Maybe coming over to the house this morning hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

  Gretchen poked her head in. “You want to stay for breakfast, Tyler?”

  “No, thanks, ma’am,” Tyler said as he stood. He was getting stiff from the lack of a good stretch. He shook out his legs, picked up his coffee and took it to the kitchen. “Thanks so much for the coffee. I’m going to head out now.”

  “Stay,” Kate said to his back.

  “No, Kate. I’m going to go finish my run, get clean, and then I’ve got things to do with Mom.”

  It was feeling hard to say goodbye, but that was what he was going to do. He had to do it, even though he was tempted to continue with the lovely Kate. He just couldn’t step on the other man’s toes. And yes, even if the fuckin’ guy was a complete idiot.

  At the doorway he said the words he knew he had to say. “I think we got a little ahead of ourselves, Kate. You’re in some confusion, and hell, I’m just a dog, a military guy getting ready to leave. I think I jumped the gun a bit and I’m sorry that I—You know, things are simple for me. Pretty girl wants to kiss me. But marriage, all this stuff you’ve got to decide, I don’t want any part of that, Kate. That’s not my place.”

  He could see her lower lip tremble.

  “Look,” he said as he held her upper arms, keeping her a good distance from his chest. “I’m sure if you call the guy, he’ll have thought things over and, well, you know how it goes. In a day or two, you’ll be so happy to be together, you won’t know what hit you.
”

  “No. You’re wrong.” She wouldn’t look up at him and she was stammering a bit. It nearly broke his heart. Like a brother, he drew her to him, held her secure but didn’t rub or initiate anything.

  “You’re a sweetheart, Kate. The guy must be crazy for you. And crazy out of his mind at the thought of losing you. Give him a chance. Go make up and have a nice life.” He pulled her away from him and tipped her chin up with his thumb and forefinger.

  Oh Jesus, those lips! What was he going to do? Oh yes, he was going to be the warrior he’d been trained to be. Do the right thing.

  He was going to walk away. Forever.

  But he still hoped in a week or two maybe he’d get a letter.

  C

  hapter 11

  Kate spent the day trying to dodge her sister’s questions. She dialed Randy’s number several times and didn’t get an answer but left the same message, saying she was sorry she had hurt him, and to please understand her indecision. She begged for time. She begged for patience.

  She knew he was avoiding her call. And just what was she going to tell him? Her decision not to go forward with the wedding was still unchanged. And as difficult as it was to bear, she was still glad Tyler hadn’t inserted himself. He was right. He didn’t belong there. Not now. Maybe not ever.

  She called her mother.

  “Oh, my God, Kate, you’d think the winery had gone up in flames, the way those people—” Kate could always tell when her mother was upset with the future in-laws because she started to call them those people—“have been acting. Like I’m supposed to fly up there and knock some sense into you.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “So, I gotta ask you. What the hell is going on? And couldn’t you wait to tell Randy in person if you had questions? Call a family pow-wow?”

  “That’s just it, they’d try to talk me out of it.”

  “Well, yes, because that’s what we do for people we love, Kate. You’re out of your head if you think we don’t want you to marry Randy. He’s perfect for you.”

  But I don’t love him, Mom.

  “Did he say something, honey? Did he offend you? Give me some kind of clue here, please. I’m drowning in questions.”

  Kate watched her sister walk into the room, drying a bowl. Just the fact that Gretchen had appeared gave her the support she needed. “Mom, I’m not sure I love him. I’m not sure he’s the right one for me.”

  “Oh, Lord save us. You gotta be kidding me, Kate.”

  “I’d give anything if—”

  “When did this happen? When did you first start feeling this way?”

  “It just came on me fast, Mom. I guess getting away from everyone, up here, where I could think—”

  “Gretchen isn’t doing one of her anti-male talks again, is she? I’ll wring her little neck—”

  “No! Mom, listen.” She glanced at her sister’s worried face. “No one has said anything to me.”

  Gretchen rolled her eyes, knowing their mother had made a comment about her. She shook her head disgustedly.

  Kate’s mother was speaking urgently and fast. And she was getting angry. Finally Kate had to interrupt.

  “I. Don’t. Love. Him.”

  Her mother sputtered and erupted in a spate of words Kate couldn’t understand, but eventually calmed down.

  “That’s enough of that talk, young lady. You get your butt back down here to California. You tell your sister to put you on the next plane available.”

  “I can do that myself, Mom. I’m a big girl.”

  “You’ve done quite enough already. Kate, what were you thinking? I don’t understand what could have made you change your mind.”

  “He’s just not the right one. I care for him, mom. But I don’t want to marry him. Haven’t you ever had second thoughts?”

  There was a pause that disturbed Kate. “I never had any second thoughts about your dad. Not one.”

  “Well there, you see? I do, and I need time to sort those doubts out. Randy won’t even return any of my calls. I’ve tried all morning.”

  “I think he’s trying to arrange a plane to come get you.”

  “Great. I’ll be a hostage. At my own wedding.”

  “It’s not like that, Kate.”

  “No? Well then, what would you call it?”

  “You have the wedding jitters. You’re confused. They want to help.”

  “No, Mom. They want to pressure me. Don’t let them do this.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. I can’t control those people any more than you can.”

  “And you want your daughter to marry their son anyway. Why is that, I wonder?”

  After a brief hesitation, her mother sighed and said, “Yes, honey, I do, because it’s what’s best for you.”

  “I’m not going to do it. You know me. The more they push, the more I’ll resist.”

  She knew her mother wouldn’t be able to disagree. Kate was legendary for her stubbornness.

  “Okay, I’ve got Marsha calling on the other line. Can I at least tell her you’re coming home and will discuss this with Randy in the next day or two? Can I tell her that?”

  “Yes. I don’t want any private planes coming up here to fetch me. I’ll take the next commercial flight out I can. Probably tomorrow.”

  Her mother sighed. “Okay. I’ll tell her. Call me back later tonight, okay?”

  “Will do.”

  Kate slumped into a chair and began to bawl her eyes out. Gretchen was at her side.

  “I’m so sorry, sweetie. God, I wish I could be of help here, but just know I feel for what you’re going through.” She rubbed Kate’s neck and shoulder, and then dropped to her knees and gave her a hug. “You’ll do the right thing, kid. You always do.”

  “Except this time I’ve really botched it up.”

  “No, Kate. Really messing up would be marrying the wrong guy. Trust me, I know a lot about that.”

  Randy did return her call later that evening, but she was in the shower. She played back the message and was grateful she hadn’t been able to catch his call live. What he said made her blood boil.

  “Kate. What you’re doing is a big mistake. A big fuckin’ mistake. We have treated you with respect and you show none in return. My family has welcomed you into the fold. You have to understand this is a huge inconvenience for everyone. The functions they turned down so they could have everything ready for us—that’s real dollars and cents, Kate, not some fantasy.”

  He paused, then continued his rant. “You live in some kind of fairyland where everything has to be perfect and that’s not the way life is. Do you think I’m one hundred percent happy with everything about our relationship? I’m not. But do you think I let these doubts or thoughts interfere with the planning, or the fact that I’m committed to you? Yes, I’m committed to you. Or at least I was until you pulled this little fiasco.

  “Now I don’t know who you are, Kate. You’re not the woman I thought you were. I just never thought you’d pull this kind of stunt.”

  The rest of the call droned on until he’d used up all the message time. Kate was furious.

  She sat at the desk in front of the window and pretended she could see through the dark to the Columbia River winding slowly past. She felt cold. She was in shock. As she twisted in the chair, Tyler’s letter, which she’d forgotten, fell out of her pocket.

  Her heart was racing as she carefully unfolded the binder paper and read his letter. And then she knew what she had to do.

  She couldn’t wait for morning.

  C

  hapter 12

  After dinner¸ Tyler checked in with his LPO, Kyle Lansdowne, double-checking orders and making sure there were no changes to their deployment.

  “We’re good. They’re saying prepare for six but we might be home in four,” Kyle said. “How’s it hanging up there in Portland?”

  “Good. Mom’s got a gallery function tomorrow night. Kenny’s batshit as hell. Thinking I should bring him down there and give
him some time with Cooper.”

  “You don’t want to do that, Tyler.”

  “Why the hell not? The rain up here is melting his brain. No sunshine.”

  “Cooper’s got the little one now. And he’s about as sleep-starved as he was during BUD/S. Libby’s cool and just as fine as ever, but Cooper. Oh. My. God. You’d think this baby was made out of porcelain the way he’s so careful. Won’t let any of us hold the little sucker, either.”

  That was good news. “Glad the baby came before we deploy.”

  “Roger that, Tyler.”

  “Shit, Lanny, I’m sorry.” Tyler was referring to the fact that Kyle’s wife, Christy, was going to deliver their second while he was on deployment. It wasn’t certain he’d be given leave to come home for it, since it depended on what they found when they got overseas.

  “No worries. She understands. Sucks, but she understands. But as for Cooper, and having his first, I’m not sure we could have gotten him to go otherwise.”

  “Bet the girls are loving the baby, though.” Tyler noticed his voice faded as he spoke.

  “You okay?” Lansdowne asked.

  “Yeah.” Kyle knew all the members of SEAL Team 3 like they were blood brothers, which, in a very real sense, they were, since they’d spilled blood together. Even the wives stuck close together. The babies would play together. The community would close ranks around the new mom and child and try to fill the void left by Kyle’s absence. Tyler wondered how they did it.

  “You gettin’ laid?”

  Kyle always wanted to know if his guys were regular.

  “Shit, Kyle, I just got here.”

  “So that’s a big fuckin’ no, then.”

  “As a matter of fact I met a girl.”

  “Fuck’s sake, Tyler. What are you waiting for, a marriage proposal?”

  That comment stung more than it would have before yesterday. Before Kate and those couple of kisses in the donut shop, and the one today at her sister’s. God, he wished he’d met her before that Randy dude had. He dismissed that thought as unhelpful. “She’s engaged.”