SEAL of My Heart Read online

  “Well, then you’re wasting your time. Or am I getting something wrong here?”

  “She’s confused.”

  “Of course she’s confused. She met you, and now she’s weak at the knees in love with her SEAL fantasy man. Get out of Dodge, Tyler. Leave her alone and get some real booty that won’t make you feel all guilty. We don’t want any of that coming up next week, you understand?”

  “Of course I understand.”

  “Okay, I gotta go.”

  “Tell Christy hi for me.”

  “Will do.” After a brief pause, Kyle added, “And Tyler?”

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Go get fuckin’ laid.”

  It had never seemed like such a burden before, but he didn’t want to just run out and find a girl to have sex with. This change surprised him a little. All he could think about was Kate. Darn it all. He was going to have to wait at least two weeks for the military mail to catch up to him, since he knew wasn’t going to stop by her sister’s house anymore. Not that he wouldn’t look out the window and try to find it. He’d already discovered he couldn’t see the house from his mother’s, but he’d tried all afternoon just the same, and always came up with the same result.

  He also prepared himself for the real possibility she wouldn’t write back.

  Whatever. It was out of his hands. She was probably out of his league anyway, he thought.

  He fingered the notebook he’d started in high school, and the unfinished letter to Karen. He wondered what happened to her. He did a search on Facebook and couldn’t find a listing, which probably meant she had a married name now, not the one he knew in high school. He wasn’t allowed to have a Facebook page because of what he did, but he’d set up the persona of a twenty-year-old college student and used that account to surf the internet.

  He searched the winery where Kate worked. The pictures were lush with views of golden rows of grapes and large oak barrels. There was a family photo of the Hellers and Kate wasn’t in the picture, which Tyler thought very odd. They had three boys. Handsome ones. He didn’t know which one was the fiancé but he secretly hoped it was the middle one, who was a little chubby.

  Now why are you thinking that way? He understood he felt more than just a little competitive with the guy who’d gotten there first and now was blowing it, in Tyler’s opinion. But then perhaps he’d feel the same way if the roles were reversed. Women confused him, mostly because he didn’t want to hurt them, so didn’t engage fully. He’d never found that right one, like he’d told Kate on the plane yesterday. Was that just yesterday? Wow.

  Something in the way she looked at him just melted the crust he’d formed. Somehow she had gotten inside that veneer, and he’d just jumped right in. Was stupid, but kind of satisfying, in a way. No, not satisfying. Exciting. Whatever she could give him, no matter if she wrote him every six months, he’d take what she’d give, and he’d not ask for anything more. And he wasn’t going to do anything more until she made up her mind.

  Besides, by that time, she’d have moved on to a cowboy or a fireman or some other kind of hero. Yes, that might explain it. She had a fascination for heroes. She had her orderly life all planned out, and then he had to waltz in and shake things up a bit. Kind of like what they did overseas with the Snatch N Grabs. Just stir things up and see who runs where and to whom.

  He would wait, because somewhere inside he knew it would be worth it. No matter how long it took. All the right things had happened, despite all his good intentions. He’d just wait it out and have faith in a future he had no fuckin’ control over.

  Instead of turning in, he pulled out another of his sister’s steamy romance novels and began reading. When he got to the first sex scene he skimmed it, then took a shower.

  He wondered if there’d be any cute girls at the gallery party tomorrow night, and he set his sights on perhaps meeting someone nice there. He hoped he wouldn’t wind up in the morning looking at someone’s green or purple hair.

  No champagne for you, buddy. He was going to make it a sober night. Besides, the audience at these events was already interesting enough. Alcohol enhancements were rarely needed.

  C

  hapter 13

  Kate was at the front door of the pink house at nine o’clock sharp, hoping she hadn’t missed Tyler. His mother greeted her warmly and invited her inside while she got her son. She had on a smock with paint smudges all over it, and her long, silver hair was fixed to the top of her head in a rhinestone clip. With her large brown eyes and her deep red lipstick, she looked like a paint palette herself. Soft music was playing in a sunny great room which was covered in large paintings full of brilliant, abstract shapes resembling jungle flowers. She could smell strong coffee brewing and secretly longed for a cup.

  Tyler was in jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt, but barefoot. His shiny, deep brown hair had been hurriedly finger-combed. He did not look like he was happy to see her, and she began to wonder if she’d made a mistake.

  “You woke me up,” he said.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Tyler’s mother disappeared into the kitchen, and he offered her a seat on a heavy leather couch covered in patchwork quilts.

  “I just came by to give you this.” She reached in her shirt and pulled out the folded letter she’d tucked into her bra. She blushed as she handed him the warm paper.

  He studied the folded note before he said anything. Kate immediately thought about leaving, sure that her visit had not been wise.

  Then he surprised her. “You wanna go to a gallery party tonight? My mom has a showing, a big champagne reception. I don’t know if you like those types of things, kind of boring, but—”

  “I’d love to go.” It was out of her mouth before she had a chance to think about it.

  “Okay. Well, I was going to go for a run.” Tyler was looking at her lips again, and she was pleased it had the same effect on her it did yesterday.

  “I’m off to the bookstore,” she said truthfully. “Think I’ll pick up a couple of your sister’s books, too—”

  “Oh, I have several here you can have. Did you finish the one I gave you?”

  “Yes. Last night.”

  “Wow. You’re a fast reader.”

  “She’s a great writer.”

  “I’ll tell her you said so.”

  “Good.”

  The distance between them was awkward. The small talk wasn’t helping, either.

  “Tyler. I’m sorry I put you through all that stuff yesterday. Can we just start over, sort of hit the reset button?”

  “I don’t think there is a ‘we’ in there, Kate. You are engaged.” He looked down at her hand and it registered on his face that she had removed her ring. “Wow, so, I guess you didn’t exactly patch things up with your fiancé.”

  “Ex-fiancé. I think that’s probably the kindest term I could use. I’m not so sure I’ll even have a family or a job to go home to, but he’s definitely my ex.” She shrugged, deciding to toy with him. “Not that it matters, or anything.”

  “No,” he shrugged.

  She heard him hitch his breath a bit, and thought perhaps she’d stung him slightly.

  “I mean it doesn’t matter, if that’s what you want.” He seemed shy and uncomfortable.

  What is it I want? I want something I don’t have right now. I want something else.

  “Why don’t we meet downtown after you get your run in? I’ll go to Powell’s and we’ll meet at Mother’s? You can have a big breakfast after your run? My treat? My way of making amends.”

  “Kate,” he started.

  “Just breakfast. No big, deep discussions, okay? Then we can meet later at the gallery.”

  “Okay, then.” It seemed to satisfy him. He held her letter in his right hand as she exited the front door and ran down the steps to Gretchen’s second car with two kiddie car seats strapped in the back.

  She thought she’d be the first to arrive at the restaurant but found him waiting in the lobby. His hair was sli
cked down from his recent shower and, as he gave her a peck on the cheek, she smelled his cologne and felt a fresh shave. She liked that he’d worn a dark sports jacket over his jeans.

  They were ushered to a corner and given brunch menus. The restaurant featured mix and match plates, silverware, chairs and tables, with an eclectic assortment of paintings and plaques, as well as bookshelves filled with dog-eared paperbacks. The espresso machine screamed. Steam clouded the windows. The Sunday brunch crowd had dispersed somewhat, so the tables around them were vacant.

  “My mom loves this place,” Tyler said. “She has some paintings here somewhere.” He turned and examined the walls.

  She watched his profile, the way his Adam’s apple moved when he swallowed, how full and long his eyelashes were. The thickness of his chest and neck seemed almost more so today, though covered in clothes. “I can’t find them,” he said after he’d searched the walls he could see from where he sat.

  “Maybe she sold them.”

  “That could be. She’s getting very popular now.”

  “How long has she been painting?”

  “Ever since I was little. I’ve always seen her with paint streaks in her hair.”

  “Sort of like my little niece, Angela. She is constantly playing dress-up.”

  “Ah, a budding makeup artist.”

  “Yes. Or perhaps a painter as well. Gretchen’s got her hands full.”

  “What about her husband?”

  “Ex-husband.”

  “You guys send ’em away don’t you? This a sisterly trait? Your parents are still together, I think, right?”

  “Right. And no, I wouldn’t exactly blame Gretchen’s divorce on Gretchen. Her ex is Tony Sanders, the basketball player.”

  “Okay.”

  “And he didn’t exactly honor his marriage vows. It was all a little too public for Gretchen. And the girls.”

  “Okay, so perhaps it’s not a trait.”

  “No, definitely not.” Their eyes met. The chemistry between them was there again, making her ears buzz.

  She asked him about his deployment and he told her what he could. Fact was, he knew very little about it. He talked about the BUD/S training, about some of his single friends, and what it was like living in San Diego after being raised in Portland.

  “I couldn’t live here,” she said. “Too cold and not enough sunshine.”

  “On that we agree. I think San Diego is perfect. Only varies about ten degrees. Ever.”

  “Sounds nice. I’ve actually never been there.”

  “Then consider yourself invited.” His smile warmed her. It was becoming something she needed more of, the more he dished it out.

  Without making a promise to visit, she asked him if he’d ever been to Sonoma County, where she lived.

  “As a matter of fact, yes. Got a friend who has a small vineyard. A former Team guy.”

  “Really?”

  He chuckled. “What, you don’t think we retire, go do other things, I mean ordinary things like ordinary people do?”

  She liked the dance in his eyes and the dimple on the right side of his mouth. “That’s not what I was thinking,” she said.

  “Then what were you thinking, Kate?”

  If she were honest, she’d have to say that she was thinking how nice his kiss had tasted, how hard his chest had been when he’d pulled her to him with urgency. How she wanted to see his bare shoulders again and the muscular thighs she’d looked at yesterday. She was thinking—no, feeling—what it would be like to make love with him. And she didn’t dare tell him any of that. So she said nothing.

  He shot a quick glance down at her mouth again and then dropped the subject as he stared out the window. A light rain had begun to fall. “Bad day for a walk,” he said.

  She watched his profile. “I don’t know. Makes everything smell fresh and clean. If we had an umbrella, a walk might be nice.”

  That got his attention. “I think my mom has one in her car we could use.”

  Their eyes met again. Her heart was racing. She laced her fingers together on the tabletop and he placed his large hand over her hands and squeezed. The intimate gesture tugged at her heart. The place between her legs began to throb with need. It was so foolish to want someone as badly as she wanted him right now, but she just didn’t care. Something powerful was overtaking her body, and she was going to surrender to it, no matter what the cost.

  “Come on. I have an idea,” he said.

  Outside she was squinting up at the droplets of rain when he pulled her under the eaves of the old restaurant and kissed her hard. She lost herself in the way his tongue played with hers. Her thigh rubbed against his erection as she moaned into him, melting and giving herself up to his passion. One hand cupped her head, fingers digging into her hair as he squeezed and pulled her face into his commanding her mouth and uncorked something wild inside her.

  “Oh, God, Kate. You’ve got to stop me.”

  “Why?” she whispered into his ear.

  “Because I can’t stop.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  “It isn’t wise.”

  She put her fingers over his lips. “Shhh. I don’t want to hear about what’s wise. Give me what you can, and let me decide if it’s wise or not.”

  He laughed, throwing his head back.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “I wanted to give you more time. Kate, I don’t want to be the rebound guy. I don’t do that.”

  “For a guy, you sure think a lot.” She scrunched up her nose and waited until he understood she was messing with him.

  He laughed again, studying her face, focusing on her lips again. “Ah, fuck it,” he said as he kissed her again, wrapping his powerful arms about her waist and pressing her against his length.

  Within walking distance there was a boutique hotel he knew about. The elevator ride to the third floor was a blur. The anticipation was killing her. Her panties were wet, and she could feel sweat pooling between her breasts. Her nipples ached against the fabric of her bra. One of Tyler’s hands had snaked up under her shirt, and he rubbed her back, and then headed down inside the back of her pants.

  The elevator doors opened and he took her hand, leading her down the hallway. They had a room at the corner. Due to the vintage nature of the hotel, the inside was barely big enough for the queen-sized bed it contained. The musty smell of the old hotel was comforting, as were the sounds through the open window of traffic swishing past on the street below.

  He removed his jacket and approached her, helping her off with hers. She pulled up his T-shirt. Prominent right over his heart was a design of a compass with thorns and other Celtic designs in the borders.

  “So I’ll always know my way home,” he whispered. “So I’ll follow my heart.”

  She kissed him there, then rubbed her check against it, listening to his heart.

  “It’s there, honest.”

  “I’ll say.” She reveled in the sensations as her palms traveled the rippled surface of his abs and chest, over the smooth tattoo and his nipples, pulling the cotton T-shirt up and over his head. She tasted him under his ear, at his breastbone. His hands held her rear and squeezed, then urgently tugged at the button and zipper of her jeans to slide them down her thighs. She pulled her top over her head and watched him bend down and kiss the tops of her breasts, slipping his hot tongue under the bra to find her nipples. Her stomach muscles clenched under his ministrations.

  Her bra fell loose and his palms cupped her flesh, pinching her nipples, suckling and pulling at them, giving her exquisite pain. She worked on his button fly, and after a few seconds they were both completely naked.

  “I have something, unless you—”

  “Thank you,” she said.

  Reaching into the pants at his ankles, he found a foil packet and sheathed himself while Kate ran her hand over the hard ridges of his member, squeezing him, reaching back and squeezing his balls, which made him gasp.

  He brought
her closer to the bed, then crawled up on it and leaned back on the headboard, his cock at full attention. She followed right behind him, seating herself over him and feeling his palms slide over her thighs as he gripped her hips and sank her down over him. She was so wet, the friction of his size stimulated her insides and ignited her libido. He ground her body over him, raising her up slightly and then plunging into her deeper.

  The relaxation of the tension between them and the way they eased into the feel of their bodies against each other was delicious. He moved one palm to the small of her back, arching her forward so he could lean up to her breasts and suckle. The deeper he seated inside her, the more she wanted him. Her muscles held him, squeezed his shaft as her body rocked and stretched to receive him deeper still.

  She held her hair atop her head, arching and grinding her torso, riding his cock. Then she released her hair and balanced herself on his shoulders, looking down at him while she rose and fell, as his hands gripped the sides of her hips, as they gazed into each other’s eyes. He bent forward to taste her lips and draw more moans from her. She began to shudder as she rode him with a slow rhythm up and down, undulating and grinding when she had him fully inside her.

  He deftly withdrew and flipped her over onto her back, spread her knees, and sucked at her labia, devouring her juices. His hot tongue rimmed her opening, and then sank inside. He sucked and bit the top of her thighs, running his teeth over her delicate flesh and making her cry out. He scooped his arm under her, arching her breasts toward him, kissing her neck, covering her lips and then plucking and running his teeth over her nipples. She felt like an instrument he played, working her body, which was fine-tuned and more than ready for him.

  She urged him to come inside her again, raising her knees up against her ears. His thick cock found her opening and eased inside, then began a back and forth motion, picking up speed. He scooted them to the edge of the bed, holding her wrists above her head with one large hand. The intensity and depth of his penetration was new for her. He released her wrists and immediately dropped her hands to his butt cheeks, squeezing them and pulling him deeper inside her. The powerful muscles of his ass and lower back tensed and released in the quiet hush of the darkened room. With one hand she found the spot where he was rooted inside her, and she ringed his shaft with two fingers, squeezing his balls gently with the other fingers as he rammed inside deeper and deeper.