SEAL of My Heart Read online

  She felt the low vibration of her long orgasm beginning deep inside, until it traveled the length of him. Her internal muscles clamped down on him, held him as she spiraled out of control. She dug her fingernails into his back as the orgasm rocked her world, until she could feel him spending inside his protection.

  His heartbreaking cry at the loss of his control spurred her on. She found his mouth and their tongues clashed as she inhaled whatever she could gather from him. It was simply not possible to get enough. A violent series of spasms overtook him as he jerked several times and then collapsed onto her chest.

  Her heart beat wildly, pounding blood into her ears and the tips of her fingers and toes as his chest pressed against hers, matching every undulating movement she had with one of his own.

  And then he was done.

  “God, Kate,” he whispered.

  “Shhh,” she lovingly whispered into his temple. “Stay inside me? Rest, Tyler, rest inside me.” She brushed the back of his head with her fingertips, following down his spine, and then over his butt cheeks. His powerful lower back muscles still moved him within her and sent little delicious waves of further pleasure. She never wanted it to end.

  As their bodies finally unwound from each other Kate realized a new, beautiful chapter had opened in her life. A romance she’d only read in books was manifest in flesh and blood with her this day. All she wanted to do was take his passion and give him more in return.

  C

  hapter 14

  Tyler hadn’t allowed himself to sleep, although he needed it. He wanted to remember her, the way she dreamed, the way her little finger twitched, the way the back of her hand brushed her forehead as she mumbled something in her dreams.

  Dream of me, sweetheart. Bring me with you.

  And just as he knew he could do this every day of his life, he also knew she was not his to take. The dark reality that she was confused, that there would be other powerful forces in Kate’s life who would exert pressure over her and make her question this afternoon of beautiful sex, made him shiver.

  It would have to be worth it, he decided. But he couldn’t help hoping somehow this thing between them could work.

  He felt a pang of regret that he didn’t have more than just a few days—not nearly enough time to develop a proper relationship with Kate—before he had to ship out for several months. And he’d have to be prepared for the Dear John letter he would most likely get. He’d seen what it did to guys overseas who didn’t prepare themselves for that eventuality. As much as they trained men to do the things they did, falling in love and getting stung by a relationship, and then coming unraveled while trying to save your own life and the lives of others in the killing fields, was one of the toughest things about being a SEAL.

  He’d seen good men have to leave the Teams because of a breakup at home. God, he didn’t want that to happen to him. But he wouldn’t be there to talk with her, reason with her, make her understand how incredibly wonderful and perfect she was for him. He didn’t know how to grow a relationship, but he sure as hell knew when an existing one was so totally right.

  While training was the solution to always being prepared, with love, and he was absolutely sure that’s what this was, the solution was to let it bloom, let her come to him with all the intensity she could muster, because God knew, he wanted that with her. And if she didn’t have it, she just didn’t have it. There was not a damned thing he could do about it.

  It was going to be Kate’s battle to fight on her own. While he was over there fighting the bad guys, she’d be home fighting for them.

  Her warm, soft derriere fit against him as he spooned himself behind her and held her while she slept. Their second lovemaking had been less urgent, but even more beautiful than the first. Her delicate, feminine side was reaching out to him, trusting him with her heart. He felt it pull on him with golden tethers he willingly submitted to. Whatever happened in the next days and weeks or months to come, he knew he’d always love her like no other before or after. He was hoping she’d be his last lover, if she’d have him. But that was going to be a delicate negotiation.

  His thumbs over her nipples must have tickled her because she turned in his arms and faced him.

  “Tyler, tell me exactly how many days we have left before you have to go.”

  “I leave day after tomorrow.”

  “That’s not enough time.”

  “You’re right, Kate. But it’s all we have.”

  “I want to just stay here, then.”

  He laughed at that. Yeah, there was a part of him that wished for the very same thing. “You know that’s not possible.”

  “I didn’t think it was possible to find this,” she said, and then kissed him. “Or this,” she caressed his cheek with the backs of her fingers. “Or this,” she undulated her mound against his length and—hallelujah, yes there was going to be a round three.

  They lingered in the shower too, and decided they’d keep the hotel room for after the party. Kate planned to go back up to her sister’s to get ready, and Tyler would take care of some errands for his mother. After some long kisses and near clothing malfunctions, Kate left, and Tyler was left to watch her drive away.

  At six o’clock sharp Tyler presented himself at Gretchen’s. Kate had obviously been crying, so when she slipped upstairs to get her purse he decided to open the subject with her sister.

  “Look, Tyler,” Gretchen said, “I don’t know much about you, but what I do know is pretty good. However, you’re not out of the woods yet.”

  “Gotcha.” He liked her honesty. Made it easy to be with her. He never understood why women had to cover up what they were really feeling by lying.

  “I’m going to tell you she’s paying an awful price for this.”

  “This? I’m not doing this.”

  “Beg your pardon? Are you blind?” Gretchen said to him without expression.

  “I don’t understand what’s going on here. You asking me to step away, is that it?”

  “Hell, no. And it wouldn’t do any good anyway. What I’m saying is that, if you mess with her heart, I don’t care who you are or who your buddies are, I’ll find you and kick your ass.”

  Tyler chuckled. Gretchen didn’t.

  “Then you wanna tell me what’s going on, Gretchen?”

  “He’s coming up on the corporate jet. And she won’t meet with him.”

  “Who?”

  “Randy. He wants to take her home with him.”

  “So what does she say?”

  “Well, let’s see. There was this little comment about a hotel downtown I’m not supposed to know about, so when the guy shows up at my door tonight, I don’t have to tell him she’s in a hotel with another guy. I’m not happy about this situation. Those people don’t give up, Tyler.”

  “Like I’m some piece of meat.” Kate’s voice shot through the room.

  “Kate, honey, maybe you better meet with Randy. This party isn’t as important as that. You owe it to them.”

  “So now you’re on their side?” He could see her tears were threatening to erupt again.

  “No, I’m on your side. I didn’t know about this when we made our plans today.”

  “Neither did I.”

  “But now you’re tied up. Honestly, Kate. You should have called me. If you’re still here tomorrow—”

  “If I’m still here tomorrow? What kind of a comment is that?”

  “Honey, I’m just saying we didn’t know this, and now the situation has changed. You can’t just duck away. I’m not going to let you do that, Kate.”

  “He’s right, Kate,” Gretchen added. “Even if you just tell him in person what you told him over the phone, you can’t ignore the fact that he’s coming up here to see you.”

  He could see she understood there wasn’t a choice. “Kate, we’ll talk in the morning. You call me tomorrow. I’ll still be here.”

  Reluctantly, he left without giving her a kiss or a hug. And he hoped it wasn’t the last time h
e’d see her. He’d remember her standing at the foot of the stairs in that killer red dress, her hair flowing about her shoulders, unbelievably beautiful, but miserable.

  On the way to his mother’s gallery, he called his LPO.

  “I need a word, Kyle.”

  “Shoot, but make it quick. We’re expected someplace and Brandon is in one of his moods.”

  “Okay, the lady I mentioned.”

  “Who is engaged.”

  “That one, yes. I love her, Kyle.”

  “Fuck me, Tyler. Bad. Very bad timing. You shouldn’t be doing that.”

  “It’s done, the deed is done. I’m asking for advice, here. Should I just leave, forget I met her, just come back home?”

  “Probably. Is that what you’re going to do?”

  “Shit, no. Her fiancé is coming up in a chartered jet to talk some sense into her. My mom’s gallery thing is tonight, too.”

  “Yeah. You better get home tomorrow. Be there for your mama and then get your butt back to Coronado where you belong. Dammit, Tyler. When I told you to get laid I didn’t say to go lie down in a snake pit.”

  “I just—you’re right. I fucked up.”

  “So, make it right.”

  He whispered, “Yeah. Thanks, man.”

  The gallery was buzzing with people when Tyler arrived. He grabbed a glass of champagne immediately. As soon as his mother found him, he was paraded around the room like a stuffed toy.

  He was introduced to not one, but two young ladies with purple hair. Later, he stood with his father while they watched his vibrant mother talk to buyers and the gallery owner, describing her paintings and her process.

  Tyler watched his father, a quiet man, thoroughly enjoy following his mother around, soaking up her animation and her love for what she was doing. It was then he realized how deeply his father loved her. He didn’t have to be with her in the limelight. As long as he was the man who took her home.

  He wondered which man Kate would choose.

  And either way, it would be fine. Somehow, he’d find a way for it to be fine. After all, there would always be the letters.

  C

  hapter 15

  Randy’s rented car pulled up to Gretchen’s porch. Kate’s hands fluttered nervously at her waist. She put her shoes back on, took a drink of water, and waited for the doorbell. Gretchen had taken the girls to a movie to give them some privacy.

  She opened the door and saw Randy’s miserable face. He made a step towards her and she backed up. “Not ready for this, Randy. We need to talk first.”

  He had one hand on his hip and the other tunneling through his hair, a worried expression blooming just on the edge of anger.

  “Then I’ll take you to dinner,” he said formally.

  “You don’t have to do that, Randy.”

  “Humor me, Kate.” He examined her hand and saw that she’d removed the ring.

  “Wait here,” she said as she dashed upstairs. Retrieving the ring from her cosmetic bag, she brought it back down and placed the sizeable rock in Randy’s palm.

  “Kate,” he tried to keep her hand in his, but she was quicker.

  “I can’t marry you, Randy. I just can’t.”

  “But why? Is there someone else?”

  Is there someone else? Someone else with blue eyes, someone who made her feel wonderful just standing next to him? She wasn’t ashamed of what they’d done. She was ashamed she’d allowed herself to go along with a wedding and a life that she never should have agreed to in the first place. Would this be something she could explain? Suddenly the fog began to lift and she realized what she had to do.

  “Randy, come. Let’s sit.”

  Over the course of the next few minutes she explained her hesitation, without saying anything about Tyler. Because she wasn’t calling off the wedding because of Tyler. Tyler had never made any promises. They had no plans. And that was the honorable thing for him to do, too.

  “I don’t want the life you can offer me, Randy. It’s a generous, wonderful life, and you deserve to be happy with someone who truly wants to share it with you. I apologize for being so selfish and not understanding that this is not the life I want to live. It isn’t fair to you, your parents, my parents, and it isn’t fair to me to try to pretend, play a role I don’t want to play. I don’t think I ever did, Randy.”

  “So what changed your mind?” He was detecting something.

  “I watched people on the plane. I see my sister’s life here without a husband. I think about all the things I’d like to do with my life. What you want? It’s your life. Your parent’s life, their winery. But it’s not what I want to do with my life.”

  “What do you want to do, Kate?”

  She smiled. “Maybe write steamy novels, Randy. I don’t know. I might go back to school. The point is,” she slid over towards him on the couch and took his hands in hers, “I’d be taking the space someone else should occupy. And that someone else would love you and work with you and give you everything you deserve.”

  He looked down at where their hands joined. Though he spread his thumbs over her knuckles, she didn’t reciprocate.

  “I care for you and your parents. I thank you for your devotion to me, for everything they’ve done for me. Everything you’ve done for me. But I’m not the one who should be marrying you, Randy. I’m really not.”

  She held his gaze until she saw moisture in his eyes as the realization sank in. She had spoken her truth, and Randy understood it.

  Tyler was on his fifth glass of champagne, and he was tipsy. The stuffed shrimp and mushroom buttons were nice, but not substantial enough to keep him from getting drunk. He told himself it wasn’t about Kate.

  What will be will be. The little phrase was bumping around in his head like a bee in a Mason jar. His father finally asked him where Kate was, the girl he said he was bringing to introduce to them.

  “Gone. I think she’s gone, Dad.”

  “Nonsense. Fashionably late. Women like to be fashionably late.”

  But then another hour went by, and after Tyler checked his phone to see there was no call from Kate, he began to understand she wasn’t coming after all. And in a way he was glad. Glad that perhaps she was finally going to live the life she had mapped out before he met her. Before he got in there and messed things up, as he’d told Kyle. He’d told himself he was ready for either consequence, but somehow this one was a more bitter pill than he’d expected.

  He grabbed a bottle of champagne and retreated to a quiet corner, where his drunkenness wouldn’t be a spectacle or reflect negatively on his mother.

  The sound of his mother’s voice nearby got him to sit up and carefully place the bottle under the chair he was sitting on. It did no good. She saw it anyway.

  “There you are,” she said.

  “Yes, Mom. I’m right here.” Dizziness hit him harder than he’d expected. Thinking back on what a beautiful day he’d had in the hotel room with Kate, he realized they’d skipped lunch, and the finger foods at the gallery were a poor substitute for dinner. He leaned his back against the wall and his mother split into two.

  Great.

  Except that the other vision of his mother was wearing a red dress, and her long hair wasn’t grey. He squinted, not sure he was seeing correctly.

  “Kate?” he said slowly.

  She looked down at him, bemused. “You don’t hold your liquor well, Tyler. I guess I’m going to have to teach you.”

  “I didn’t eat.”

  “Yes. I remember,” she said as she winked at his mother. She leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips.

  That’s when he knew he’d be okay.

  “Tyler, I’m going to take you down the street to the pancake house, and you’re going to sober up,” she said.

  “Oh, yeah?” He was feeling masterfully giddy and ready to spar. “Or else what?”

  “I’ll fuck your brains out drunk, if you can get it up.”

  “I can get it up.” He did like her comment. He rea
lized after he’d responded exactly what she’d said. “Hey, you said a nasty word.”

  She leaned into him, allowing him a good look down her low-cut red dress. “That depends on who you’re talking to.”

  Her chest mesmerized him. Before he could reach out to touch her, she had moved to brace him under one armpit, helping him stand. “I like your tits,” he said in what he thought was a whisper, but he noticed several guests nearby looked in their direction.

  “Tyler, you need to straighten up and walk out of here like a soldier.” Cupping her palm to his ear she whispered, “And after you sober up, you get to play with my tits.”

  “Deal,” he said.

  C

  hapter 16

  They played footsie while he ate his pancakes. He drank three cups of strong, black coffee and was beginning to think he had sobered up sufficiently, since he found himself regretting his drunkenness. All the same, he didn’t want to drive, so they walked the ten long blocks, miraculously without rain, until they reached the steps of the little hotel.

  A recording of a French singer was playing in the background while they made their way through the lobby to the elevators. Tyler had threaded his fingers through Kate’s, with a grip he softened when she shook her hand in front of him. He wasn’t going to stop holding it, but he relaxed.

  Their room had been left with the sheets tangled, which looked sexy as hell. Kate slipped off her red shoes and her dress, but left her pearls on, and her red undies.

  “I like those,” he said, pointing to her red bra and panties.

  “I kind of thought you would. Bought them on the way up to Gretchen’s this afternoon. I knew I was going to borrow this dress.”